From Rands in Repose, the classic article The Nerd Handbook says:
Your nerd’s insatiable quest for information and The High has tweaked his brain in an interesting way. For any given piece of incoming information, your nerd is making a lightning fast assessment: relevant or not relevant? Relevance means that the incoming information fits into the system of things your nerd currently cares about.
I find myself doing this a lot. The distinction between nerds and normals can be striking, and to me this is the most painful difference in communication. Normals will include so much irrelevant information in their conversation it becomes mind-numbing. I know that they think they’re including relevant information, and to them these are important details, but when reduced to actionable items and related facts it is just static.
I’ve found this challenge goes in both directions too – when asked “How was your day?” or “Did you have a good at work?” they expect a detailed, blow-by-blow replay of everything that happened that day. Maybe I’m missing some gene, or my brain is wired differently, or I just don’t care that much, but do I really need to replay my daily life to you as a soap opera?
How do you compromise? Is there a polite way to say “get to the point” in a conversation? Is there a minimum response to “How was your day?” that’s more than saying “just another day at the office”? Perhaps there’s a way of explaining I just want the facts, please, and it’s not you but it’s me that’s different.